Monday, August 15, 2016

Sandra Boynton Books

I have the beginnings of a great Sandra Boynton collection. I love to buy these and share them with my grandkids. The board books are just the right length for the attention span of a crazy Grandma (and the 2-year-old). The colors are bright and the pictures induce giggles everywhere. I can't help it. Every time I read 'Dinosaurs cute and dinosaurs not', I laugh myself silly. I can totally get into the rhythm of the words. We do the little dances and sing the little songs. I'm not sure if my grandkids love these books because of the silly pictures and rhyming words, or because of the crazy Grandma doing the barnyard dance. I enjoy the author's sense of humor--whimsical with just a wee bit of whacked. I bought two of her books as apps for my iphone. The books are interactive with movements and sounds. Great to keep in Grandma's arsenal of treasures. Check out her website. The entire website is constructed in her voice. http://www.sandraboynton.com/

Wednesday, August 10, 2016

McScruff: Top Secret Agent by Grandma Beans Chapter 10

Chapter 10

   Scruffy woke up in a sterile, white room with stainless steel fixtures. It smelled like rubbing alcohol and antiseptic cleanser. Belle sat next to his bed with her leg in a cast.
   “Ooohhh man, I’m so stiff. I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck. Wait a minute, I was run over by a truck. Hahaha, I kill myself.” He put the only paw not in traction to his mouth and giggled like a puppy.
   Trusty sat across the bed from Belle. “Do you think he’s had enough pain medicine?”
   Belle smiled. Trusty laughed.
   Scruffy tried to sit up in bed but got dizzy.
   “Easy fella, you had a rough day yesterday.” Belle gently pushed him back down to his pillow.
   “Huh?”
   “Dude, you broke up the dog napping ring we’ve been trying to infiltrate for the last two months.” Trusty shook his head. “I’d like to know how you pulled that off.”
   “Thanks to you, we returned all the dogs to their families.” Belle shifted her cast.
   Scruffy smiled a weak smile. Belle treated him like he wasn’t a doofus for the first time since they’d met. “But what about Faux Paw? He got away.”
   “Not to worry. I switched out one of his cuff links with a tracking device. Remember when you provided that marvelous distraction this morning.”
   “The mailbox? That is one of my better disguises.”
   “Dude, he’ll be in custody before you leave the hospital.” Trusty said.
   “It seems you’ve been holding out on us, Scruffy,” Belle said.   "When did you learn the Ninja moves? And how in the world did you stop that truck?”
   “I don’t know exactly. I see a flash of light, then a diagram in my head and my body just sort of takes over.” Scruffy’s forehead wrinkled into four rows of fur. “That doesn’t make any sense. Maybe it’s the drugs talking.”
   Belle and Trusty looked back and forth at each other and then at Scruffy.
   “What?” Scruffy giggled and snorted. “What is it? You both know something.”
   “I had my suspicions when I saw you fly into action in the barn,” Belle said.
   “Suspicions?” Scruffy thought something was wrong with him.
   “Do you remember when you got your chip?” Trusty scooted his chair closer to the bed.
   Scruffy closed his eyes for a minute. “Everything’s blurry, I . . . don’t . . . I’m not sure. I think it was at the shelter, before my family took me home.”
   “We think you’re the dog Faux Paw was looking for.” Belle pulled out Scruffy’s adoption papers. She showed Scruffy the name of the vet who implanted the chip. “This is the same doctor who developed a top secret microchip for law enforcement dogs. Faux Paw had plans to use it himself—he’d be unstoppable. He tried to steal it before it got implanted.”
   Trusty added, “Dr. Hudson wanted to test it on some German shepherd puppies at the shelter, but the last one got adopted. When Faux Paw made his move, Dr. Hudson had to put it in the first pup he saw. That was you,”
   “That’s kind of cool,” Scruffy said. “I’d chase my tail if I could find it.” He wiggled this way and that way but couldn’t get ahold of it.
   Trusty laughed. “Yes and no, Scruff.”
   “Huh? This is great, right?”
   “Sort of. You’re a great dog and so far it’s working like it’s supposed to,” Belle said. “But . . .”
   “But,” Trusty said. “We don’t know what the long term side effects might be.”
   “Or how and when it’s activated,” Belle said.
   Mrs. Whiskers leaped upon Scruffy’s bed. “It’s going to make you a target, Scruff, at least until we get Faux Paw in custody.”
   “Mrs. Whiskers, you’re in on this too? How come I never knew about you all before?”
   “Need to know, son.” Mrs. Whiskers put her nose in the air. “And you didn’t, until now. By the way, you’re under my command.”
   “You mean I get to work with you guys?”
   “That’s not all,” Trusty said. “While the doctor was patching you up, we had him install a magic pocket inside your fur. We’ll be able to stock everything you need for our next mission.”
   “I must be dreaming. This can’t be real. I’ve always wanted to be a spy, more than anything!” Scruffy was so excited that he tried to get out of bed.
   “All in good time.” Belle eased him back down.
   “First, you need some training. You’re off to obedience school, then we train you to be a spy.” Mrs. Whiskers’ tail swished in Scruffy’s face.
   He sneezed so hard it blew Mrs. Whiskers off the bed. She stuck her nose in the air and sauntered to the door. “And do something about those allergies.”
   Scruffy’s tail wagged in spite of being sore. “I’m so excited. . . I don’t think. . . I’ll ever be . . . able to . . . fall . . . a--.” Scruffy snored.



Monday, August 1, 2016

The Shire



Without a doubt, the fictional world I'd most like to wake up in is the Shire. I thought about Lothlorien because of its beauty and serenity, but the Shire is more like a pastoral version of the real world. I'm totally good with breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, etc, except I may be the one having to make all of the food. Life just seems more laid back and less rushed, and so green. I have always dreamed of a country life. The cool thing about the internet is that I could live in the Shire and work online. .


Wednesday, July 27, 2016

McScruff: Top Secret Agent by Grandma Beans Chapter 9

Chapter 9

   Scruffy snarled and growled at the bulldogs and the evil fox. Without thinking of the consequences, he flung himself at them. He karate chopped everyone and everything. He spun around and whirled. He punched the air with his fists.
   “Hiiii-yah!” Scruffy kicked Fluffy in his chest and knocked him down.
   Ralph threw broken crates to the right and left clearing a path to Scruffy.
   Faux Paw ran for the door dragging Belle by her collar. Scruffy saw her face contort with pain, but she didn’t cry.
   As Ralph came for him, Scruffy dove between his legs. He almost made it to the door when Fluffy grabbed him by the neck and threw him down snarling and growling.
   The evil fox threw Belle into the back of the white panel truck and locked the door down. He jumped into the driver’s seat and turned the key. The motor made a grinding sound but wouldn’t start.
   Scruffy knew he had to act fast. He couldn’t let that truck leave the farm. His mind filled with more ninja pictures and his body took over. He knocked Fluffy’s legs out from under him and flipped him over in one move.
   Ralph came at Scruffy with his teeth bared, his ears flat against his head.
   Scruffy picked Fluffy up by his hind leg and swung him around and around. He let go and Fluffy flew right into Ralph knocking them both out cold.
   The truck started up with a bang. Scruffy burst out of the barn doors as the truck shifted into gear.
   Scruffy growled. “Oh no you don’t! You’re not getting away if I can help it!” He grabbed ahold of the rear bumper with his teeth and dug in his heels.
   The wheels spun as Scruffy dug himself in deeper. Dirt flipped him in the face, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t going to let go, no matter what.
   Faux Paw furiously turned the steering wheel back and forth. The front wheels of the truck lifted off the ground .
   Sirens sounded in the distance. Scruffy held tighter than ever, but how long could he last?
   Faux Paw shifted into reverse. The truck lurched backwards and ran right over Scruffy. He fell off the bumper. Faux Paw ground the gears into first and the truck jumped forward.
   Two police cars and the dog catcher squealed to a stop blocking the exit to the farm. The truck spun out of control into the center car crashing to a stop.
T   rusty came running from one of the police cars. “Scruffy, dude, what were you thinking?”
   “What are you doing here, Trusty?” Scruffy could barely keep his eyes open.
   “When Belle never came home, I thought maybe you were telling the truth this time.”
   “You believe me now? But how did you know where to find us?”
   “The GPS in Belle’s collar.”
   Scruffy’s brow wrinkled. “You have to save her. She’s in the back of that truck,” he whispered. “She has a broken leg and it’s all my fault.”
   “We’ll take care of her. In the meantime, stay with me dude. The ambulance is coming.”
   The German Shepherds opened the cab of the truck with their tasers set to stun. Faux Paw had disappeared. The Police dogs tore out the seat and the floor mats looking for him. He was gone.
   “No!” Scruffy wanted to howl but only managed a whisper. He tried to move. He had to get up. He had to find Faux Paw. The Police let him get away.
   The shepherds released all the dogs from the back of the truck.
   The last thing Scruffy saw was Belle leaning over him.
   “You’re a hero, Scruff! You saved us all!”
    Everything faded to black like someone pulling the down the blind in a window.